Worst Jokes Ever
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
Why do pizzas not tell jokes?
They're too cheesy.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.