Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.