Worst Jokes Ever

Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?

Everywhere!

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”

What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?

A Jacko Lantern!

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

My friend said my life was a joke.

No jokes have meaning.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?

14 number 1 hits.

Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!