Worst Jokes Ever
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"