Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!