Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
Women's rights.
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Happiness.