Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.

Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.

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  • What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

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  • I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

    They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

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  • My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

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  • What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

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  • In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

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  • Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

    Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

    School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.