Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.