Worst Jokes Ever
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
modern feminism.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.