Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.