Worst Jokes Ever

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?

They both lay pipes in public parks.

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.

I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!