Worst Jokes Ever
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
I don't like making jokes about 9/11... they tend to crash and burn.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?