Worst Jokes Ever

In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.

What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."

Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"

I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”

I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."

What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

They are all locked in the Priest's basement.

What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"

Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!

Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!