Worst Jokes Ever
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Cousins make dozens.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.