Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.