Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.

  • 6

    • A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.

    The bartender asks him why.

    And the pirate says:

    "Argh, It's driving me nuts."

  • 8

    • Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.

  • 2

    • People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

  • 3

    • So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

  • 3

    • I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

    What’s the difference between a bullet and a Jew?

    One comes out of the chamber.

  • 4

    • Why are feminists always against men?

    Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.

  • 0

    • I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"

    I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

    She said, "but the world is round."

    I said, babe, you are my world.

  • 1

    • My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.

    Lying bastard never came out.

  • 2