Worst Jokes Ever
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"