Worst Jokes Ever
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD?
Concentration camp.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.