Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.
The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.