Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
You are the reason double doors were invented.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."