Worst Jokes Ever
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.