Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Add joke

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!

  • 6

    • What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

    An ambulance.

    If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

    If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

    I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...

    If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

    I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

    If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

    I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

    If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

    I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

    My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

    I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

    I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

    I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

    I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

    I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

    My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.

    Help me....

    My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

    Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.

    When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?

  • 1

    • Babies can spread a nasty smell,

    especially when you haven't fed them for a month.

  • 3

    • Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.

    Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?

    A: They tend to crash and burn.

  • 5

    • Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3