Worst Jokes Ever

Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?

Lol. It was just a prank, bro.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

What do you call an Asian who can't hear?

Wha U Sai

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?

New York Jets.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

What is Hitler's favorite game?

Nahtzee.