Worst Jokes Ever
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.