Worst Jokes Ever
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."