Worst Jokes Ever
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
If you don't like racist people, isn't that discrimination?
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
"This vacuum sucks!"
Vacuum: "Yes, I do."
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.