Worst Jokes Ever
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
I met a homeless guy named Rich.
He wasn't.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
Uranus is cold.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!