Worst Jokes Ever
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What do you call a cow with no leg?
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?
🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.
What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?
Your hairline is so bad, I do your mom so hard!
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
You smell!