Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?

At least gorillas don't abort their own.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"

The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."

So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

Why do orphans go to public schools?

Who's going to homeschool them?

What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?

About 15 stone.

He sings, he dances, be he also HE HE.

What do Americans call high school?

Shooting range.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?

Suck his big cock.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.