Worst Jokes Ever
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What's life if you don't have one...
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.
Just kidding.