Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.

I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

What is different about priests and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.

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    • Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.

    It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

    So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

    One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

    I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”

    Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

    American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

    Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

    German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

    Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist? Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.