Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,
"You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."
Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"
Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......
And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!
Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rap?
A wrapper with no FILLING.
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
What do you call a sad rapper?
A SOB-HOP ARTIST.
What do you call a dinosaur that raps?
A VELOCI-RAPPER!