Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Kiwi loves men.
Kiwi: she's here!!
2022
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
Sup guys, how are you?
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
Guess!!!!?
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!
I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.