Worst Jokes Ever

A blind man walked into a fish market and said... "Hello, ladies!"

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

What has two wheels and goes really fast?

A vegetable down a hill.

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

Ganesha is an elephant.

How do I make my dick disappear?

I put it in your dad.

Don't free Britney!

I have (I HAVE) bolas.

What did the bulldozer say to the house?

"I wanna bulldoze houses!"

What do you call Aston?

Asston.

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.