Worst Jokes Ever

What do orphans and deaf people have in common?

They can't hear their parents.

Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?

Diabetes.

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

The "f" in orphan stands for family.... wait a minute!

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

Gay people would suck at war.

Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?

He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

What do orphans eat for breakfast?

Daddy-O's.

I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.

Then I got fired from the orphanage.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What is wrong with orphans' phones?

They'll never have a home screen.

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

What's tree + tree?

Sticks! (Three + three = six)

As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"