Worst Jokes Ever
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
What’s an orphan’s least favorite shoe?
Fuller House😂
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because dad never came home with the milk.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Si, papi?
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!