Worst Jokes Ever

Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.

I should just flush this joke away.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!

Yo momma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her.

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?

A: Jujubes.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

My ass itches.

I gave a deaf kid AirPods.

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

Where did Suzie go after the bombing?

Everywhere.

Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?

Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.