Worst Jokes Ever
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Sandwiches are yummy! 😋
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Si, papi?
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
John, I like your cut, G.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.