Worst Jokes Ever
I want to be loved.
A true God would be godless himself.
What is Mario's favorite website?
- Yahoo!
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are hee/hee.
Why did most orphans become prostitutes?
Because they wanted a daddy.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.