Worst Jokes Ever
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What is a Mexican person's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Priest