Worst Jokes Ever
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?