Worst Jokes Ever

What is red and very rare?

A child in a blender.

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣

Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy" 😔

Bored?

Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw it.

Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!

Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.

Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.

Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."

No, a lot's been through you.

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.