Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Dear uncle, I want my condoms.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
Test.
What do you call the type of photo an orphan takes?
A selfie.
Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?
Because he's British.
Your hairline.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza.
They only got plain.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
Black lives matter.
You guys are crazy!