Worst Jokes Ever
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
Old man: I ran over five miles today.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Say "invented" without the first "n".
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.