Worst Jokes Ever
An Irishman walks into a pub.
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
I just
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
Why is your mom's butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.
You wanna hear a joke?
You.