My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
Worst Jokes Ever
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
Every Dorito bag for orphans is family sized.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!
YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.
Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, axe it's head.
Axe it's head, defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.
NOT A DATING WEBSITE
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!