Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Player 138 eliminated...
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.
When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.