Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.