Worst Jokes Ever

Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

What did the frog order?

A diet Croak!

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

What do you call a nervous zucchini?

An edgy veggie.

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.

Do you want to hear a building joke?

I am still working on it.

Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.

Abandon ship!

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

Are multiple choice questions too easy?

A) Yes.

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

I was Gandalf the Grey.

But now, after just three washes...

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Pineapple turnover.

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.