Worst Jokes Ever
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.