Worst Jokes Ever
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."
The F in orphan stands for family.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.
Why can't orphans go on school trips?
"Parents signature _________"
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Like if you think I'm stupid.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!