Took

Took Jokes

You know they say, when you get lemos make lemonade...Well i took that a little bit too literal

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him your life is ruined. So Jim took a picture of her and the next thing you know he said is NOW MY PHONE IS RUINED.

I was at a concert, in the front row and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!". And I replied: "Is that a death fret?".

This morning I woke up then took a bath with some chocolate mud at first when i turn the damn flossers on. i notice it wasn't water it's was all chocolate mud and now my body is all chocolatly.

I was walking home then I saw a wait sign a man came and took me I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson

-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer

I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

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Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.

I went into the supermarket everything was half off. of course I took the bottom half of spider man