Your hairline so far back my dad eve took 48 hours to reach it
You know they say, when you get lemos make lemonade...Well i took that a little bit too literal
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colours.
what did jeffrey dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry , i've got ben and jerry in the freezer
Ur friend so fat when he took the group pic he was the backround
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him your life is ruined. So Jim took a picture of her and the next thing you know he said is NOW MY PHONE IS RUINED.
I was at a concert, in the front row and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!". And I replied: "Is that a death fret?".
This morning I woke up then took a bath with some chocolate mud at first when i turn the damn flossers on. i notice it wasn't water it's was all chocolate mud and now my body is all chocolatly.
I was walking home then I saw a wait sign a man came and took me I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson
-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer
I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
My wife left me and took the kids
Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
I just beat the hollow knight and found it takes 26hr to beat it but it took me 69hr to beat it
why is Delta jealous? Because Omnicron took the final kill.
I went into the supermarket everything was half off. of course I took the bottom half of spider man
if an orphan took a photo what would It be considered...... not a family photo
So my kid took my car he crashed it off a bridge I miss it but it's going to have my car