Took Jokes

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

A man had moved to a new contry with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there telling he wanted his dog to be groomed. The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours" so the man left and came back a couple hours later when he asked about his dog he was given a box of jerky he found out "happy dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

if Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and i had 10 to start what do I have?

Answer -a math problem insta =carlosalvarezz

last christmas i took a picture of your mom

Its still printing

Hi guys the prankster is backster!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sisters tooth past bottle!

Okay so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tastying is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there so I got some mints and putted it there! Then next thing you new was! My sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzes buttock!

Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was walking home then I saw a wait sign a man came and took me I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

You know they say, when you get lemos make lemonade...Well i took that a little bit too literal

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers and he took away my queen.

what did jeffrey dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry , i've got ben and jerry in the freezer

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

The dear God created the man. Then he created woman. When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

When a person in a wheel chair says you've never took to steps in my shoes and you say to be honest you haven't ether

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "that's my step ladder" he said "I never knew my real ladder."