Took jokes
Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.
I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What do you call a rapper who took a dump?
Lil' Crappie.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.