Tomato jokes
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
Please leave a comment.
Bye!
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!