Tomato jokes
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
What do you call a burnt retard?
Tomato
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Community talk
When you hate tomatoes but you realise they have the word "toe" in them so you lowkey start foaming in the mouth
i blame the jews for a bunch of things. especially cherry tomatoes, the weekend, nuclear fission, both theories of relativity and more.
Chat respect ur elders *proceeds to get thrown tomatoes at(yes spam the tomato emoji)*