Toothbrush says I have the worst job ever. Toilet paper says you think your job shity.

What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?

“I’M WIPED!!!”

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper stocking up from the Coronavirus but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea lol why y’all be buying toilet paper now I am just confused

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?

Answer: they both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!

Yo mama is so skinny she uses floss as toilet paper

I ran out of bras, so I wore… MY GRANDMAS UNDERPANTS

what did the kid say to the toilet?

did you order a number two because i got one ready for you

why did the toilet paper cross the road?

to get to the rear end

Ur American when u walk to the bathroom. what are you when ur in there

Ur-a-peen Eurapean

Me: What did one toilet say to the other? You: What? Me: You look flushed!

Did you know toilets while your at work they eat your toilet paper

How can toilet paper decorate your house

Shit sticks everywhere

A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed.

Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: you can’t!

Stranger 2: you can

Stranger 3: how?

Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too.

Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters

Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let’s try this experi-

(the chat has been closed by stranger 1)

No more toilet paper Jokes please

Women are like rolls of toilet paper they are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot and they deal with a lot of s##t.

Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To wipe the chickens ass!

Spock went to the enterprises toilet and he knocked on it “Kirk are you in there?” Spiked asked, Kirk answered “hold on i am making a captains log”

Why did the little girl flush her self down the toilet ?? …<<<(((she wanted to join the Brownies)))>>>…

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