Toilet jokes
Farts.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
Why did the poop shout, "Ooh!"
It was poohp.
Pop in the toilet.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
Just the Fact that this exists
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
No more toilet paper jokes, please.
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
Pee.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"