Toilet Jokes

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings

How can you surprise someone who is blind?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.

How does Steven hawking take a shit he logs out

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated When I told him this, he said, 'Are you kidding me?'.

I said, 'I shit you not.'

a man walks up to lil johnny one day and asks if you had one wish but that wish will be granted to everyone on earth so the lil johnny thinks real hard and long then said well i would wish for me to shit my self and the man is shocked and asks why and lil johnny reply's well i would be on the toilet i thing everyone else would just be confused

I hate it when people are at my house and ask “do you have a bathroom?” What answer Are they expecting “no, we pee in the yard”

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop - Right. So you weight yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool. - Oh..that might actually be even easier

Where does the Batman go to pee? The Batroom

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

An orphin usees a family bathroom and when he comes out he gets told this is a family bathroom

If you'r american when you go in the bathroom and you american when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

what did the kid say to the toilet?

did you order a number two because i got one ready for you

what did one butt cheek say to the other together we can stop this shit

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.

1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.

From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".