Toilet jokes
🤔 What do Polish people 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 in Poland do with 📰 📰 📰 📰 newspapers 📰 📰 📰 📰 after they are done reading them?
Use them for toilet paper. 🧻 🧻 🧻 🧻 😆 😄
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
What did the poo say to the fart:
You blow me away!
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire English innings.