Toilet

Toilet Jokes

Yard

Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?

Bar

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Recycling

When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Helen Keller

How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.

Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.

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  • Number

    How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

    I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?

    Log

    What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?

    The Captain's Log.

    Son

    I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.