Toilet jokes
There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?
How do you poop?
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.