Toilet jokes
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
Big butt
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
We spend the weekend getting the poop out!
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!