Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
We spend the weekend getting the poop out!
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Diarrhea.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet because the p is silent
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
