The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
Toilet Jokes
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
Poo.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
