Toilet jokes

Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Because of gravity.

What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?

The Captain's Log.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his butt.

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

It got pissed off.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.