This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance and I'm tired of it. Today I push him out of his wheelchair.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
hi this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic,where yesterday loss is today's sauce
Today i went to get a sub and they asked me if i wanted all vegetables.. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off”. In the end I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Say this when you answer a spam call... Hi welcome to bobs taco shack and funeral home. Wear yesterdays grief is todays beef.
I got sent to the principal office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, “HOTWHEELS!”
Who is older than twin towers?billy bob the 1th,he was older than the twin towers he was born 3 minutes before the twin towers and still alive today
i was walking today and i saw a emo with a noose looking up at a tree i simply said " hang on there bud!"
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave. Somebody went, damn that crashed harder than the twin towers. Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now
My friend was feeling low today so I went up to her and said "You know I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life" I don't think she likes me now
Its opposite's day today, I gonna tell a orphan that their parents are here.
Sorry for your time today for a few minutes? We are cool but not the best.
Today we had a test on september 11th in school. I got a 9/11
I ran into a kid today now im in jail and i lost ma drivers license
(Phone call) This is Franks funeral home and grill where yesterday’s grief is todays beef. How may we help you ?
Sad news, my obese parrot died today. Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day Emo kids: Here lies Chris he shot himself
