Time jokes
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
What month has 28 days?
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Yo mama so old, she got nostalgia for the Big Bang!
Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."